The past week has been an absolute whirlwind for me and, well … pretty much every person on the planet. As a first-year student, I had just truly settled in with the intricacies of college life and made tons of new friends.

As a member of the St. Lawrence men's tennis team, spring is our longest and most important season. After competing in the fall, we trained all offseason — both on and off the court — to get ready for the non-stop grind that is spring tennis season.

We were heading into the most fun and busy part of our season — the spring break trip to Florida. Over the span of four days, we were set to compete in five dual matches against schools from across the country. When we returned, we would be met with fierce play both in and out of the conference, before we would hopefully finish the season on May 1 with the Liberty League Championships. All of our plans were ruined and hopes shattered with one email on Tuesday, March 10, 2020. 
 
Tears and screams echoed through the halls of every residence hall and across campus. Overnight I scrambled to arrange travel and transport to get home. After countless phone calls with my parents, I finally got my tickets to return to my hometown of Kansas City. But while we all have our own hometowns, SLU is our home, and unfortunately, it was time for us to say goodbye. 
 
Practice on Wednesday was a tough one. Our coach Neil Caniga brought us in at the beginning and explained the situation. Coach told us that this could very well be the last time our entire team practiced together. On Thursday, we had an optional practice with both the men's and women's team and brought it in for one last time. "Saints on 3, 1-2-3-SAINTS!" and that was it ... we were done. As we walked off the courts for the last time, tears were shed, and I was overcome with an emptiness and feeling of sadness. Within the week, all NCAA competition had been canceled, as well as Liberty League competition.
 
As terrible and upsetting as this process has been for me, I cannot even begin to understand how the senior class and my senior teammates feel. For Alec Roslin and Eric Tecce, this was their final spring tennis season, and they hoped it would be their best. Now, they will get no senior day. There will be no league championship. No one will get the experience of that coveted clinching win. My heart bleeds for my senior teammates, as these are all things they won't get to experience. Senior year spring is for most, the last time a tennis player will get to play competitively — and for Alec and Eric, their time was cut short.
 
Once I arrived back in Kansas City, I gave myself two days. I hadn't fully processed everything that had happened in the last week. I needed two days to mope, be sad, recover, and sleep. Once my two days were up and Monday came around, it was time to get back on the grind. 

I woke up at 8 a.m. on Monday, ready to go back and train. I got to my tennis club and set a countdown until the first day of the fall tennis season: 5 months, 10 days, and 7 hours. That is what I am working for. The student-athlete grind never stops. It is often hard to train when the goal is so far away, but I keep pushing myself to work hard and put in the maximum effort every time I step foot on the court or in the gym. 
 
While all this is going on, we as a team are still staying in-touch, whether we're sending coronavirus memes in the team group chat, or pictures and videos of everyone's on-court training. We try to keep it light as much as possible, but every so often it hits me that I won't get to be on court with my teammates for another 5 months, 10 days, and 7 hours. 

I also try to regularly check-in with all our recruits to keep them updated on what's going on and see how their training is going. I am a strong proponent of the pay-it-forward philosophy. I believe that the more time and effort you put into recruits and your teammates, the more you'll be able to get out of them, and the greater impact they will have on the team.
 
Moving forward, I think that online learning will definitely be tough, and there will be adjustments (especially for professors). The hardest part of online education is that we will no longer be together in a room with our classmates and professors. To me, that's what makes SLU so special — learning as a community. We won't just be able to pop into our professor's office to ask a question, talk, or just get some life advice. We can't just walk across our residence hall to ask our neighbor how to set up question #3. Although you can replicate these online with FaceTime and texting, virtual learning will never be the same as learning together as a community.

Still, these are all challenges that we as Laurentians can and will overcome. My fingers are crossed that we will be able to return on April 13. However, it appears COVID-19 is only spreading faster and faster and might interfere with our plans for return. 
 
Regardless of what the future holds, I will continue to train and give my 110% effort, stay in contact with all my friends and teammates, and count down the days — now 5 months, 7 days, and 20 hours — until we're back at SLU. Because although I may be sitting in my house, St. Lawrence has become my home.

Nathan Turtledove '23 is a first-year on the men's tennis team. This piece is part of a series of stories by student-athletes about how St. Lawrence student-athletes saw their academic and athletic plans change rapidly as the spread of COVID-19 across the nation caused St. Lawrence to make the transition to remote learning instruction after spring break. If you are a St. Lawrence student-athlete interested in participating in this project, please contact Aaron Todd at atodd@stlawu.edu.